So apparentlly my life is completely and utterly screwed.

I have been living with my aunt for the past three years in order to go to highschool. My mum lives out of town and I got kicked out of the scool out there so I had to come in. Anyways since frosh year I have been depressed, I was always grounded and forbidded to see my friends. I went absoluty insane. I started doing drugs, sleeping around, and vandalising my body [went anywhere from cutting to burning myself]. That being said I lived like this for a full year, in the summer between frosh and grade ten I went back home, it was one of the most sheltered summers I have ever experienced! I did not go to summer invasion, did not go to any parties, I stayed in my house and read and went on the computer. I was going insane ! Anyways grade ten was slightly better, I stopped sleeping around and stopped doing drugs [although I took up the nasty habit of smoking] things were turning around. I was seeing three different life psychologists, having an appointment every week. Everything was going good on the outside, but on the inside I was fallign apart. I was smiling and laughing so no one knew how I truly felt, but that just made me feel worse in the end. On June 12th 2009 I tried to kill myself. I O.D. on 230 extra strength tylenol. I was rushed to emerg and I had to drink this discusting charcol stuff. It was supposed to make me throw up but it didn't. The nurses and doctors assigned to me were worried that if I fell asleep I wouldn't wake up. I got rushed into a private room and got a tube fed down my throat and my stomach was pumped. It was the most stange feeling I have felt in a long time, it felt as if a feather was slowly going down my throat, and as it started sucking I had this dizzying affect on me. I passed out, but I was not allowed to I had to stay conscience throughout this whole procedure making sure I stayed alive. I was in emergency from forteen hours before I got sent to the Adolesent Psychiatric Ward. [AU for short] I was in there for six days, going mentaly insane. When I was asleep at night the clock in my room went tick tick tick tick tick tick all night, it drove me insane ! Until I got sick and tired of the noise and crawled up onto my chair and through the clock accross the room. Being released on the next thursday I was home bound for four more days. And that monday I went to school to write my first final exam. I was not aloud to fail so I automatically received fifty's in all my classes [thank god! because I was failing two of my classes with a 32% and a 43% XD] More details followed this but I am going to skip ahead to now.

I am living back with my aunt, and it is a constant negative vibe coming from her house. My cousin hates my guts and whenver friends are over of his [which is basically every day] I always get kicked off the computer and then have to go sit in my room. I do not mind sitting in my room, I enjoy solitude, but when it is everyday all the time I get sick and tired of it. My aunt constantly calls me names such as Princess, whore, bitch, psychotic, freak, fat, inmature etc. And I was ever so badly to punch her in the face and tell her to shut the hell up and grow up. Generall when someone in your house is depressed should you not try and make them happy ? Hmm ? one would think, but evedently that is beyond her capacity of intellegence. Sometimes I think it would be better just to die and get away from all this bullshit, but then at the same time running would not solve anything.

Any advice would be greatful

-paigetaylor